I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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