Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
