Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
