shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
