One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
