I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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