I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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