Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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