why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
