I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
