she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
