I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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