All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
