About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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