Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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