Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
