She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
