That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
