she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
