All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
