Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
