I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
