No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize