suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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