I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
