do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
