Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
