you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
