A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize