Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
