Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
