oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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