"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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