using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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