They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
