but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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