Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
