Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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