Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
