Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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