is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
