Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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