Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
