Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't think brook has ever known best
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
