The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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