How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
