I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
