Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
