You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
