it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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