In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
