Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
