it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
