K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
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I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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