I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
