The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have so much sex to catch up on
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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