dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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