I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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