Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
