Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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