Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
