ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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